A Human Quarian and Co's Journey
by Sir0Robin42
Summary: An SI story about a massive gaming nerd who is flung into the world of Mass Effect with a few friends and a Quarian Body. Rated T because I don't know what's coming up, and Mass Effect is a scary place.


Author's Note: I don't own Mass Effect, it belongs to Bioware, etc. etc. Oh and other than that, I know many people don't like Self-Inserts, but I do, and it's my story, so if you don't like it, bugger off. Also, I don't like writing combat scenes. Mind if I brush over them in the fic?

"No, you're gonna want to flank your enemy!" shouted Leon from the other end of the mic. Although he didn't own Starcraft, that didn't stop him from telling me how to play it. I was personally a fan of the 'Great Big Ball-O'-Death' strategy, so I ignored him. My Ball-O'-Death laid quick waste to my enemy, so when there was a knock on the door, I went to answer it. What I saw frightened me.

What I saw was a bipedal insect with four eyes, all trained on me. "you are the one called Robert?" He asked.

It took me a second before I answered with a terrified "Y-Yes." He then held up his left arm, which glowed with an orange light, and I realised what he was. A frigging Prothean at my front door. Oh, and he now held my in a bubble. Great.

"I am having trouble registering you." the Prothean said, clacking away at it's omni-keyboard. "I hope you don't mind the inconvenience you will face soon." I heard Leon shout through the microphone at my stupid risk. "Would that one be of help to you?" The Prothean asked. I just stared at it, and was about to ask what it meant when I was suddenly knocked unconscious. Wonderful.

When I awoke, I was in a field, in a place that was obviously not my house. The sky was a dark shade of red, and it had an apocalyptic type of feel to it. Nearby was a large complex. When I stood up, I felt very strange. First of all, I felt like I was looking through a green fishbowl. Second, I felt only three fingers and toes on each hand/foot. Thirdly, and the last nail in the coffin, I felt as though I was wearing a heavy suit. In the idea that when I was knocked out I saw a Prothean, I put two and two together. I was now a Quarian. Wait... what was that? Behind the Spaceport was a reaper. Wonderful. Immediately after I noticed it, it flew off. The sheer volume of it's take off, coupled with the shock wave I felt afterwords confirmed that this wasn't a dream. I'm in Mass Effect... the idea stuck in now.

I thought for a moment. I know these games like the back of my hand. I may be stuck here now, but I'm definitely not letting the reapers destroy it when I just got here. The best chance for me to make a difference would be on the Normandy. Judging by the floating gas bags, I assumed this was Eden first attack. A loud gun shot confirmed that thought. I held still. I saw where it came from.

I held back until Shepard arrived, as I knew she would. I probably should have smacked the lights out of Saren right then and there, stopping the mess before it began. Oh well, no time to dwell. I saw Shepard, approach and I stayed stealthy. Well, as stealthy a mint-green Quarian could be in such an apocalyptic looking area. I let Shepard clear out the pools of enemies before approaching.

She had out her gun before I even said 'Hi.' "Who are you?" She asked. We were standing over Nihlus' dead body.

I've had time to think of a vaguely Quarian-sounding name for my alibi. "My name is Rabi'Hoknar. I'm a Quarian on my pilgrimage. If I may, Shepard, is it? I'd like to help you out."

"How do we know you won't stab us in the back when we aren't looking?" asked Ashley. Ah, Ashley. I remember how I was totally fine with your death on Virmire, ya' racist.

"Because, I've lost many good people to the geth today, and I have a feeling you have too." Oh well, it was a lie, but I didn't want to say 'Cuz u iz gon b ded witout meh.' I made eye contact with Ashley as I said that, though I doubt it would make any impact, because of the visor.

What I said hit home with Ashley. Her whole unit, wiped out in a single ambush. I felt sorry for her. Only a little bit, though.

"Commander, this Quarian may prove useful against the geth." chimed in Kaidan. Shepard appeared to think for a moment.

"Welcome aboard Rabi'Hoknar." Said Shepard. Heck, maybe all they needed was a good hacker, but I wasn't complaining. I was standing next to Commander f%& ing Shepard, as a part of her squad. Heck yeah! "But we have to keep moving. We have a beacon to find." She began to turn into the next pool of mobs, when she turned back to me and said "But if you do so much as breath on one of my squad mates wrong, Rabi, you better be surprised **not** to see my gun's barrel." *gulp*

The next few pools of mobs were easily countered. As it turned out, I had a sniper rifle and a pistol with me when I woke up. Isn't that nice of the Prothean to give me two good weapons? Yeah, well, it was pretty much the first level of the game. So, it was pretty easy. When we reached the bomb bit of the game, Shepard managed to defuse 'em all with two minutes left to spare. That only left those few geth, one or two husks, and... the beacon. The enemies were dispatched easily, and I managed to barely score a head shot on a husk that was dangerously close to Shepard.

So... the beacon. It was taller in real life than in game. It was about fifteen to twenty feet tall. Anyways, the scene played as normal... Shepard called in for the pick up, as Alenko got a bit curious and neared the beam. "What do you think made it do this?" asked Kaidan, getting closer and closer to the beacon with each second.

"I don't know. I don't think I want to know." I responded. Suddenly, a stream of the greenish light that was radiating around the beam picked up Kaidan and held him up. Shepard, always the hero, pushed Kaidan out of harm's way, before getting caught in the beacon's influence herself. As per the game, the beacon exploded. Only this time, Shepard wasn't the only one knocked out. I heard Kaidan and Ashley desperately call out for help from the Normandy as I felt my consciousness slip away from me. All I thought as I slept was 'Oh god(s), please don't let them leave me...' They didn't, and I woke up next to Shepard and a familiar face in the Normandy's Med Bay. I couldn't believe who it was laying down next to me.


End file.
